Well its been awhile since I have posted and I can honestly say I have missed it. I first heard the Gospel in 1993 and made a commitment to Christ that same year. To say that my commitment or the execution of my commitment to Christ has been less than solid during that time would be an understatement. It’s been sketchy at best. There have been intense periods of time where all I could do was think of the Kingdom and yearn to commune with Jesus and the Father and the Spirit. There have also been times where all I have wanted to do is wrap myself in selfish desire and give up trying to be Kingdom minded.
I started this blog in 2008. At that time I was really feeling connected with God and His purposes. I had good connections with fellow believers at work and in my family. My wife and kids were excited about seeking Jesus and we were attending church and a community group regularly. Then something happened. I’m not really sure what. I allowed myself to get discouraged with seemly everything around me dealing with the Kingdom. I stopped blogging, stopped talking Jesus with my friends and family and stopped going to church. I also started engaging in some sinful behavior that I have combated constantly since my conversion. I spent most of 2009 discouraged and just going through the motions.
About a month ago one of the teaching pastors at the church I was attending posted on Facebook that he had preached a sermon about hell the previous week with a link for a download of the audio. I threw it on the iPod and listened. In that sermon he taught on the parable of sower. Listening to that sermon I was really challenged to understand why I wasn’t seeking God. I started trying to figure out how I had gotten so far from the Kingdom and God’s grace. There is more to the story but the bottom line is I headed back to church the Sunday of the week I listened to the sermon. Everyone there was super nice and welcoming considering we just stopped showing up 13 months earlier.
So I have been reading my Bible and trying to reconnect with the Spirit. I am very thankful for the Father’s grace and forgiveness through Jesus. I am glad that my sins past and future were paid for at the cross. I am humbly reminded that we are all works in progress and the Kingdom advances with or without us.
Finally, I just want to say that I know there were folks out there praying for me and my family. You know who you are and thanks. It is good to be loved in the Lord by others and it is good to not be alone. I am trying to get back to what I feel God has called me to do which is mainly love Him and reflect His glory for the sake of His glory. I hope my writings do that and I hope this blog does that. Thanks again.
Grace and Peace.