Seek First the Kingdom

Well its been awhile since I have posted and I can honestly say I have missed it. I first heard the Gospel in 1993 and made a commitment to Christ that same year. To say that my commitment or the execution of my commitment to Christ has been less than solid during that time would be an understatement. It’s been sketchy at best. There have been intense periods of time where all I could do was think of the Kingdom and yearn to commune with Jesus and the Father and the Spirit. There have also been times where all I have wanted to do is wrap myself in selfish desire and give up trying to be Kingdom minded.

I started this blog in 2008. At that time I was really feeling connected with God and His purposes. I had good connections with fellow believers at work and in my family. My wife and kids were excited about seeking Jesus and we were attending church and a community group regularly. Then something happened. I’m not really sure what. I allowed myself to get discouraged with seemly everything around me dealing with the Kingdom. I stopped blogging, stopped talking Jesus with my friends and family and stopped going to church. I also started engaging in some sinful behavior that I have combated constantly since my conversion. I spent most of 2009 discouraged and just going through the motions.

About a month ago one of the teaching pastors at the church I was attending posted on Facebook that he had preached a sermon about hell the previous week with a link for a download of the audio. I threw it on the iPod and listened. In that sermon he taught on the parable of sower. Listening to that sermon I was really challenged to understand why I wasn’t seeking God. I started trying to figure out how I had gotten so far from the Kingdom and God’s grace. There is more to the story but the bottom line is I headed back to church the Sunday of the week I listened to the sermon. Everyone there was super nice and welcoming considering we just stopped showing up 13 months earlier.

So I have been reading my Bible and trying to reconnect with the Spirit. I am very thankful for the Father’s grace and forgiveness through Jesus. I am glad that my sins past and future were paid for at the cross. I am humbly reminded that we are all works in progress and the Kingdom advances with or without us.

Finally, I just want to say that I know there were folks out there praying for me and my family. You know who you are and thanks. It is good to be loved in the Lord by others and it is good to not be alone. I am trying to get back to what I feel God has called me to do which is mainly love Him and reflect His glory for the sake of His glory. I hope my writings do that and I hope this blog does that. Thanks again.

Grace and Peace.

Tony

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4 thoughts on “Seek First the Kingdom

  1. Good stuff Bro! Trust me I know what you’ve been feeling. You once said how great it would be if we were both on fire for Jesus and I think the time has come. Look forward to reading your blogs and sharing the word on our Facebook group..Love ya Bro!

  2. I started to think of a comment using various quotes from people like MacArthur and Tozer when I realized God already said it plainly, I pasted it all here but the summary is the first part of verse 22.

    Ecclesiastes 3 (English Standard Version)
    1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
    2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

    9 What gain has the worker from his toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; 13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.
    14 I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. 15 That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

    16 Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. 17 I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. 18 I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. 19 For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. 20 All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth? 22 So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him?

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